Jun 25 2009

LAN Luvvin’ with Haunter & Predz

Hello and welcome back to our 4th blog episode! This is very exciting so we thought we’d get you this very flamboyantly gay couple who’ve been playing high up in the TF2 food-chain since it all started. We talk about the usual stuff, the upcoming ‘Community Lan’ and Dr.Leon comes in to talk about penises!

Jas: Hey welcome to Fakkeltalk guys, I don’t know if you guys have really met each other before.

Haunter: Me and Predz slept together at LAN

Predz: Yeah. I thought you weren’t gonna tell anyone

Jonni: Who was the woman in this? Who took it up the ass?

Predz: Numlocked.

Haunter: His skin is smooth.

Predz: He looks like he’s constantly wearing a helmet.

Jas: He’s jailbait, don’t be so mean!

Jonni: Have you had experience of high level before TF2 or did you start here?

Predz: I played TFC for many years…too long… played on an Irish team and shit like that.

Jonni: Okay so you arrived at tf2, Holy Grail of gaming. Then what?

Predz: I started at DA and then moved onto WOTR, here I am in 4k

Jonni: How is it being in 4k? The name was quite highly rated before, how are they treating you now?

Predz: I dunno, they’re not treating us in any particular way. Free stuff woo!

Jas: And what about you Haunter?

Haunter: I started in 2000 playing Quake TF starting in Portuguese clans, then moved to ETF which was a different engine. I played in one of the best euro clans until I played TF2. I played since the start, transferred to the euro scene and joined animate, then joined DCSB for a month but they were too inactive, then joined vale (which was druidz, then vale, now known as Yoyotech).

Jonni: How is it playing with Yoyotech, with the Belgians?

Haunter: It’s quite cool, especially with a team full of players from the same country. They all speak English in Yoyotech; no one switches to their own language at all.

Jonni: Cool, found them a bit boring

Jas: I really like them, they’re all awesome. Predz what’s it like playing scout, why pick that class?

Predz: Its infuriating sometimes, every other class was shit slow. I don’t have the patience to spend half a map walking around trying to find everybody.

Jonni: I find Predz one of the most annoying scouts to play against

Predz: I had that said to me a few times, but I dunno, I find the FaN annoying to play against.

Jas: and Haunter, how about you? You were medic for TCM at one point.

Haunter: At the begining I started as soldier as it was my class from previous games. In animate we had no medic so I played medic for them and people kept bugging me to play medic like my short time in TCM. But I really didn’t enjoy it, hence my short period as medic. There’s much more to do as soldier.

Predz: Like spending 30 minutes jumping to people.

Haunter: Instead of running around chasing people? haha.

Jas: If you could change one thing to your class, what would it be?

Predz: Invulnerability and concussion grenades!

Haunter: Probably bunny hopping

Jonni: What do you think about a future soldier update coming soon?

Haunter: I think they will do something silly like they did to heavy like sandwich. Something that won’t affect the competitive gaming. Grenades or something?

Jonni: Now moving swiftly onto the juicy stuff. being a top player, how do you juggle TF2 and real life? Do you have a woman?

Predz: No the internet provides all the stuff that I need, we don’t play on Fridays or Saturdays so I just go out those days.

Jonni: Yeah the internet provides you with all the sex you need.

Jas: Like your two friends who came to ukesa?

Predz: I have more than 2 friends you know! they sat behind my chair at lan, held my hand as I crossed the road.

Jonni: and Haunter? Any private life?

Haunter: Usually most of my friends aren’t gamers, we hardly talk about games.

Predz: Are you going to the community lan Jonni?

Jonni: Yeah we’re going with our team and a merc – Jones.

Predz: I’ll go if you pay for me Jonni, I hear you’re rich.

Jonni: You mean you heard I’m Jewish?

Predz: Yeah haha. Who wasn’t that friendly at lan for you?

Haunter: Darn because when we first met Dignitas in the morning they were leaving and stopped to say hi but darn didn’t, it wasn’t very polite. Other than that, everyone seemed nice.

Predz: Even appz?

Haunter: Yeah I was surprised; he was very friendly to us.

Jas: What about you Predz, who did you think was kinda mean?

Predz: I’m not giving that out haha.

Jas: Probably too many to count for you eh? Hehehe.

Jonni: Let’s talk about something weird, I’m sure you’ve had weird experiences.

Jas: Come on Predz, something different about yourself?

Predz: Jh and I hugged at lan. There you go, that’s an embarrassing story.

Jonni: And Haunter?

Haunter: I fall asleep before I cum, I do it most of the time.

Jonni: Well that’s a good warning to put out to all the ladies out there: bring smelling salts to bed with Haunter.

Predz: I’m starving

Haunter: Me too, haven’t had dinner yet.

Predz: Same

Jas: I knew you’re both a married couple. If you could have one wish, what would it be?

Predz: mm.

Haunter: Hmm. I would wish for Jas in my bed right now.

Jas: You’d fall asleep before you cum, forget it.

Haunter: Who said I’d have sex?

Jas: I see.

Jonni: I forsee a body painting session!

Predz: I was hoping I could wish more wishes…

Jas: You can’t

Predz: Dunno probably for a shit load of money…

Jas: Such an Irish thing.

Predz: No it’s more Jewish.

Jonni: Actually no we have money already.

Predz: Sigh I wish I was Jewish… without penis mutilation.

Jonni: My penis is huge and since the subject is on penisses I would like to invite someone in who is a true expert on the subject.

*Dr Leon enters the channel and the talk continues about penises*

Jonni: Leon can do ballet with no hands and no feet!

Dr Leon: CU @ LAN bitches, I’ll perform right there!

Haunter: Do you really think the lan will happen?

Jonni: I hope so… our team has already payed for TCL

Haunter: I dunno, half the big teams aren’t going

Predz: Really bad to cancel the lan this late.

Jonni: Yeah plane tickets can’t be cancelled, will be a big shame.

Dr Leon: Back to penises, I was promised!

Predz: Psunfragga’s dodging her answers! Her fault.

Jas: Hey I’m a medic, I’m pro at dodging.

*more talk between the guys of penises *

Well that concludes this week’s testosterone filled Fakkel Talk, with much thanks to Yoyotech Haunter and 4K^ Predz for contributing. Predz made us promise to post a picture of him and since haunter wants to keep his identity safe he showed us a picture from his latest threat-video: to the left Haunter and on the right Predz.
Haunter, Terrorist! Predz, Pornstar!

Jun 10 2009

Gossiping with Friendly Extremist Trolls

This weeks instalment is a lengthy double whammy of FB family veterans now known as 4k^Torden and Extrememr.idk? We have a few words from Torden regarding the present state of 4K’s who have just played a tight game vs. TCM for enemy down, scoring 3-2 granary and 10-11 on turbine with the final cap being in the last minute. There is much gossip from the elusively silent Extremer, so read ahead for a better insight into some of the quieter popular players of our TF2 community.

Torden The Friendly Troll

Jas: Hey Torden, thanks for coming to chat with Jonni and I. I have a headache so just bear with me.

Torden: Just drink some water.

Jas: Aww you’re like my real life medic now.

Jonni: Can I call you Mother Goose?

Torden: Please don’t.

Jonni: Moving into things, let’s start with the basics. How did you get into tf2?

Torden: I bought orange box for Half Life and TF2 was in there. It was just an extra to me; I didn’t really have an interest in it. I haven’t played fps before but I liked Half Life.

Jonni: Yeah it’s nice, headcrabs and all!

Torden: I didn’t like the headcrabs.

Jas: Same, they scared me. How did you get into 6v6?

Torden: I was part of a public group; we had 1 clan match a month that took extensive planning. I played a lot of public with FB and eventually asked to merc some games for you. You liked what I was doing so The Worst Player known to man actually rang me from the Netherlands to talk about it.

Jonni: He did? I didn’t know that! Really?

Torden: Yeah he offered me a weed box if I joined. I said no to the weed box but I joined you nonetheless so I got into 6v6 about a year ago.

Jas: So how did you get from playing for FB to being my favourite medic to watch?

Torden: Playing with FB was a really good and fun learning experience for me. However, after a while, I picked up on all the raging going on during that period. I gave an ultimatum: Stop raging or I’m out of FB. As no change was made, I decided to leave them. In the meantime, I had made friends with the people of the Norwegian TF2 community. Their style suited me better, and I joined formation of the Div2 Team (season 3) Resistansen shortly after.

Jas: You’re a delicate soul huh?

Torden: Haha I play TF2 out of the sole purpose for having fun. I know you guys have moved on and the raging has become contained.

Jonni: Yeah since we have the second loudest in the team now, it’s become a bit more neutral.

Torden: Yeah I can see. Since Resistansen, I joined wotr which is now 4K.

Jas: What do you think of the progress of wotr to 4K?

Torden: I joined between seasons. We expected to get relegated or have a hard time as the team were going into div 1. We made key changes to the line up and tried really really hard with etf2l. We had a key breakthrough beating crack clan on turbine which made us think ‘maybe we can actually do some stuff’. Right now I’ve been inactive and people have been a bit demotivated as a consequence of that. We’re at the same spot as we were 5 months ago – underdogs. We’ll see if we can climb up once again.

Jonni: In the lower half of the tables then with FB haha.

Torden: Who knows we might stay down there, it’s all about having fun playing against each other.

Jas: So outside of TF2, what do you do?

Jonni: What kinda awesome jobs do you do? Finishing your work?

Torden: I am uh finishing my bachelors and doing my masters in what can easily be described as art direction.

Jas: You can director my art any day baby, aww yeaah.

Jonni: Outside your job and love for your TF2, do you have a girlfriend?

Torden: uh my last girlfriend, I got a choice of TF2 or her. I guess I chose TF2!

Jas: Good choice, you got to meet me and Jonni.

Torden: I am single, but I’m sorta flirting with a girl, I tend to keep it with one person only.


Jas: A lonely hearts advert for Torden on FB! Lucky girl for you. Tell us an embarrassing story about you.

Torden: You gotta go first though.

Jonni: I can give you access to the porn stash. Psun’s the biggest user.

Torden: Fair enough. At age 13 I had long hair. Going on vacation to Turkey I had more offers from guys than my sisters. In fact, I was the hottest chick in town. You watch out Psunfragga.

Jonni: I’ve heard stories about Tordens voluptuous breasts before.

Jas: I would lick butter cream off Torden’s breasts.

Torden: Depends what kind

Jonni: The butterscotch, so it can stick to your che-sorry I mean breast hair.

Torden: I do have a few bits of hair in my cleavage…I was having a look at your site, is it true cooks house burned down?

Jonni: No, but he did get attacked by black men in thongs though.

Thank you for that nice chat. Torden nicely sticks around to hang around to join in with a chat to Extremer.

Extremer The Extremist

Jas: Rapist.

Jonni: Russian.

Extremer: hiiiiiiiiii!

Jas: Hey, haha this is weird. Extremer and I go way back to public TF2.

Extremer (embarrassed): yeah…. back when I was a noob….

Torden: What, last week? maehehehe.

Jonni: Hahahaha. Easy question to start off with, how did you get TF2?

Extremer: I got Orange Box for xmas, I used to be play TFC back in the day… I got interested in gaming played quake, TFC, CS:s (which I’m ashamed of) and some DoD:S.

Torden: You actually have xmas in Russia?!

Extremer: Hahaha, I’m not actually Russian!

Jonni: So you got TF2, became a pub hero, got to FB?

Extremer: I played pickups. Demourge noticed me, he asked me to merc a few times.

Jonni: And back when you joined us, you had no mic.

Extremer: I just had a few bindings, even when I got a mic I didn’t talk.

Jonni: He only used to talk when he got 3+ kills, or killed a medic. Now I’ve heard rumours of you being the loudest. Quite the fierce rager huh?

Extremer: Naaahhh. I just whine. Oggy’s the rager!

Jas: To be fair with a nice voice like Oggy, I would rage all the time.

Extremer: His rage is kinda funny, you can’t take it seriously.

Jas: What is your clan history? I remember it always changing in my friends list.

Extremer: It was Gaming Legends, FB2, TB and now idk?

Jas: Fakkel Brigade 2?

Extremer: Yeah we were better than FB1 back then!

Jonni: Extremer used have a lot of sex with Cook back then.

Jas: That’s kinda disturbing.

Extermer: Nah cos he’s black, it’s okay.

Jas: Who’s been your favourite clan to play with?

Extremer: FB2 was fucking awesome, with Redman’s sexy voice.

Torden: All people from Ireland sound really similar like Daf, Predz and Redman.

Jonni: Medic (the player) sounds like Officer Wiggum from the Simpsons…

Jas: Tell us about your life outside of TF2.

Extremer: I go to school, go out with friends…

Jonni: Don’t make me remind you of 20 April, I’ve never seen anyone as stoned as you.

Jas: I always thought Extremer was a good boy, went to school…

Jonni: FB fucked him up.

Extremer: No you didn’t.

Jonni: Yes we did.

Extremer (defeated): Okay you did.

Jas: I remember you from meleeing ubers on pubs, how did you go from that to one of the most talented demomen that I’ve seen?

Jonni: I second that.

Extremer: I don’t actually know… I kinda have two lives for pub and for in game, though I do fuck around in both.

Jas: Got any tips for aspiring demomen?

Jonni: Don’t speak too much?

Extremer: … I don’t know really… I just kill stuff…

Jonni: He doesn’t speak much.

Extremer: Tbh killing stuff is a good tip!

Jonni: I wanna know about Extremer and his girly life.

Extremer: I used to have a gf a few months ago, but not anymore. It just wasn’t working out.

Torden: How old are you?

Extremer: 18

Torden: maehaehae. I’m 25

(More talk about how love changes as you get older)

Extremer: Jonni is a chick magnet in TF2

Jonni: In real life I can understand but TF2? How?!

Extremer: He used talk to Nymthae a lot…

Jas: Got any gossip on idk?

Extremer: Shintaz sucks cocks. No lies, it’s true. Night + F2 have a secret love life of sollys.

Torden: Who is your fave person out of idk?

Extremer: Obviously not Shintaz, I don’t know, I won’t say…

Torden: So you do have one! Is it F2?

Jonni: It’s Oggy!

Extremer: Maybeeeee

Torden: Piece?

Extremer: Naw they’re all kinda old and over 30…

Jonni: I’ve just heard your biggest fanboy has joined your idk second team – how do you think he’ll do?

Extremer: I dunno, I’ve never seen him play demoman.

Jas: What is it like having a second team? Do you talk to them a lot, or do you just support them but let them do their own thing?

Extremer: At the moment we don’t talk much to them but I’m sure it’ll change in time as we do training against each other.

Jas: Got anything left to round up the interview?

Extremer: Jonni smells like ass.

As a treat to all his adoring fans, Extremer has drawn a picture of his face as he’s unwilling to provide naked pictures of himself:

Extremer, by Extremer aged 18

Extremer, by Extremer aged 18

Thanks for reading folks, we’ll be back next week with more gossip and insights into the people of our community! xx