Dec 5 2009

FakkelBrigade looking for strong Finnish for season 6

Season 6 of the ETF2L has been a rollercoaster ride for FakkelBrigade.

Switching from season 5 to season 6: we lost Byte, who really upped our game in season 5, we lost Jonni, who didn’t want to play ‘bench-only’ scout, we swapped one Latvian medic with limited English skills for another and we hired a mentally handicapped forklift driver to play demo for us, as part of our ‘equal opportunities’ project.

Leading up to the start of season 6 we’ve considered a bunch of options:

  • Folding/trying again next season
  • Playing in division 2
  • Playing some crazy lineup, crazy strategies, fun mode. Dual engie baby!
  • Bribing Byte and hiring a ninja French medic to play for us

We did neither of these things and begged Cook to come play for us once more while we tried to find a medic. Cook did an excellent job as always and after his first match back for FB against LOL he joyfully said: “Would have been nice to tell me my first match as medic in months was an official”.

Also we hired a new demo, called Looper. He should have been fired when he chose ‘Mighty Mouse’ as an avatar, but by the time he chose ‘King Julian’ we were too much attached to this crazy forklift driver.

Cook agreed to play with us temporarily while we went out to find a medic. Luckily two very competent trials were found and after some nice matches we strangely decided to go with yet another Latvian, Mirelin.

Just before the end-of-season-6 transfer deadline, our team was complete. This new lineup has tied against Power Gaming and won against idk?.

FB #4

Yes, that's FB @ #4, TF2=DEAD

With 1 more match to go we have a (small) chance to take 2nd place. And it’s all in our own hands.

The final match is this Sunday, against all-Finnish team illegal, who’ve had an impressive season. Losing points only to Dignitas and idk?. They’re the current #2 and if we manage to beat them we’ll be ending up on #2 in season 6. That would be a pretty good result for ‘a div 2 team’ that would ‘fold first’. If we don’t beat them on both maps, we’ll stay in 4th place, not bad either :)

Oct 22 2009

Jonni the Jew is not the devil

TF2Street has a rather nasty writeup about the recent departure of Jonni. From reading that you might conclude Jonni is an evil bastard, but he really does not deserve that.

Some important additions to their article:

Other scattered details exist, such as the fact that after being benched from Team Netherlands, Jonni threatened to delete or fuck with the FB servers and Mumble since it was in his name.

Not exactly. Jonni paid 1/3 of the costs for our ‘old’ dedicated box. He only said he wouldn’t keep paying for the server if he wasn’t part of the team, and that he’d cancel the contract if we hadn’t sorted out his situation (playtime) within x days. We completely understand Jonni’s position on this, and with new servers being cheaper and better, we’ve decided to rent a new machine to replace the one in Jonni’s name.

Jonni went into one of the FB servers and told Swifty “If you want to play on my servers, you have to get on your knees and apologize to me.”

That’s what you get when you’re in a fight with someone and you still try to use their stuff. Swifty and his team were playing on the machine paid for by Jonni at the time.

Immediately after, he enters #FakkelBrigade on Quakenet, and changes the topic title to something along the lines of “FakkelBrigade -> Breaking friendships is all we do!”In his last moment of pathetic preteen rage, Jonni sits in a private Mumble channel, links it to every Mumble channel in which a Fakkelian member is present, and rage-eavesdrops on the entire clan.

FB was co-founded by Jonni, he was a very active player in 3 seasons, of course he’s going to be mad.

These are all rather recent events with a lot of drama involved, I hope that in a couple of weeks things have cooled down a bit and we can welcome Jonni back into his own FB family.




Exfane had the following to incoherent, poorly written rant to add:

This story is obviously biassed , but it is what i (Exfane) consider to be the truth:

Jonni has brought a lot of good stuff to the clan and has always been thinking along about how we (fb) should be progressing.  This clan prlly wouldn’t have been alive still if it wasn’t for jonni, arie and me. We rlly owe jonni a lot.

I’ve always seen FB as a 3-man lead, not 1 man tryin to lead it all. Apparently recently jonni felt the strength to kick swifty/fb2 on his own. After swifty put on this silly name and joined a public srv with psunfragga and jonni in it. Now why make such a big fuckin deal out of this?! Did swifty cockblock you jonni? Or was he just a bad friend?! Either way, jonni had no right to kick em without consulting me or arie.
So I just come home one day and see we don’t have a 2nd team, heard the stories of both sides, the only thing that came to my mind: WTF!?$^!&@%@! Why, How, Whatfor?!
Jonni told me he’d heard a lot of bad things for a long time about swifty and sgn especially. Though apparently it never was bad enough for him to inform either me or arie.
Now if he would’ve just come to either me or arie, let us know what was goin on, let us know what he wanted to do (kick em). But no he acted on his own, and before any of us could change something about this, most of the members from fb2 left……………

Now,  the biggest lie of all: jonni is THE big leader of FB.
If there was any, it would’ve been me, as I got this clan from the other founding fathers.
Now I’ve never seen myself as THE big leader, in my point of view it quickly became: arie, jonni and me, as clanleaders (multiple YES).

Now somewhere along the line people started telling me that jonni says he is the mighty almighty.
I honestly don’t know where this comes from, probably because the srv’s were ordered on his name (arie, jonni and me equally payed). First his dad payed for the srv, because jonni and me were doin work for him.
At some point we decided to quit workin, but we still wanted the srv, so jonni easily fixed it to his name. For him this was the cue to promote himself as THE big leader of fakkelbrigade, cause he “owned” the srv. WOW, to openly call yourself THE clanleader while your not……..weird………….even for a jew.

Still all of this doesn’t concern jonni’s recent departure from our clan. About 2 seasons ago we decided to take on fisshu, this would mean we’d have 3 scouts, so we had to equally devide the playingtime, jonni and arie (our only scouts at that point) agreed, as they both didn’t mind taking a night off.
About a month after fisshu joined, everybody noticed how fisshu and arie were a way better scout couple then arie/jonni or fisshu/jonni. Prlly because jonni just cba to train for this silly game. So we told him he should pickup the pace and start working on his skillz (pickups, dm maps, watching demo’s, you know the drill)
We all expected jonni would take this cue serious and start workin 150% on his skillz, while in fact it somehow demoralized him as he just didn’t show up for any training anymore. After fisshu and arie played together for a while we all saw how valuable a standard scout team is, instead of having 3 scouts switching around. So with jonni out of the (scout) loop we all agreed on having 2 scouts only.

3 weeks ago jonni came to me and said: “I demand a scout slot for 2/3 of all matches played or I’m gone and I will not pay my share for the srv anymore”. Well obviously that’s fair, I mean I don’t wanna pay for a clan or whatever (soccer practice) if I can never play. But to demand 2/3 of all playing time while you’ve been inactive for 1.5 season, we have no available slot and are playing in div1, just was impossible. At that point we were still very unsure of the lineup we were about to use in the next etf2l season, so to have another set back by using 3 scouts would’ve  smacked us back to the stone age.
So we tried training jonni for one of the classes we needed, medic and demo at that point. He didn’t have a lot of experience in either class, but we were all willing to train him if he’d just show up on time like he promised. Guess what……………he was able to show up at least 30 mins late every night we played, thx a lot.
We all noticed (jonni included) this just wouldn’t work out, so we asked some good but somewhat inactive players to join the action (again), cook and looper answered this call from the motherland and filled the slots we had left.

In my opinion we’ve done everything we could possibly do with a player that had been inactive for a very long time and didn’t want to train his ass off to be at the same lvl of the team.
As a final resort to keep jonni with fb we offered him to make another fb team or to be an active backup player. Neither of those options were good enough for our jew.

The end was near and jonni decided that I personally had set this up to betray him, while there rlly wasn’t anything else we could’ve done, besides kicking players who had been active and with us for a long time.
I’m sorry it had to go this way jonni, but you decided you wanted to leave if we didn’t give you 2/3 of all playtime as a scout, not me or anyone of the clan.
And so jonni leaves and blames me personally for not having a spare scout slot available at his disposal…………….ow well just another day in life!


Jul 9 2009

Five-Five-Five Fiasco!

Hello readers!

We missed you last week as we had a few personal things on our plate. Please collect your free cuddle once you’ve read this weeks entry! This week we’re bringing you a hard hitting 5-5-5 fiasco. We’ve got 5 different people to ask 5 questions for our 5th blogpost to celebrate Jonni & Jas’ Fakkeltalk. Our feature will be placing [FB] Fisshu, EG.Cyzer, [j]’ Morfff, TCM|Evil and [FB] Cook.

The questions we’ve asked them are as follows:

  1. Tell us a little about yourself, start with your prior gaming experience, leading up to the clan you play for now.
  2. What do you think the future holds for TF2 and how will your clan hold up in this future?
  3. Would you like to see anything changed to how your class is used in competitive play (that’s why I wanted 5 different classes)
  4. Who is your favourite person you’ve come to know through TF2?
  5. If you could have 1 wish in the world (except wishing for more wishes,) what would it be and why?

[FB]Fisshu, FakkelBrigade’s fearsome scout, who is still hard at work, trying to learn TF2

1. Im currently studying a degree in Digital Forensics and spending far too much time playing online computer games. When I was 13 a friend recommended I buy halflife, I was hooked instantly and it wasn’t long before I discovered TFC. I played in the competitive scene but wasn’t any good, as was the case with CS 1.6 for around 2-3 years. Currently I am playing in FakkelBrigade and enjoying my time there, with the addition of Byte we have stepped up our game and are looking to hold our spot in ETF2L Div1 for next season. Having someone with such experience calling can make us a top 5 European team, as we have proven with map wins against Coolclan and TCM in ETF2L Season 5.

2. If im honest, im a little concerned about the future of TF2. There have been some decent teams folding recently which isn’t good for the scene, its not exactly a dying game (the regular updates are slowing down the process) but obviously its inevitable. Competitive play is in dire need of some new maps, the constant games on Badlands/Granary are starting
to take its toll on me and, probably, many other players. The game will never get as recognised as it really deserves to be, which is a shame. The actual game mechanics are great and really call upon strong teamplay to succeed, its cartoony approach definitely deters a lot of people from trying it out. FB seem to be going strong at the moment but I can’t really speak for the future, I accept that people have lives and that anything is possible! Folding in the near future is unlikely though :] we are all good mates and decent players that simply love to play tf2.

3. Yes, give the scout 1000hp and two scatter guns to hold in either hand. no rly, the scout is perfectly balanced. A lot of people would like to see the FaN banned in competitive play but I don’t agree, players need to learn how to deal with the new unlockable and stop battling an evolving game.

4. Jimmybreeze! That guy changed my life (but probably not for the better). He used to be a pub hero in a community called Knifeback Mountain, one fateful day I joined his scrubfest of a server and we got chatting. Suddenly I found myself playing scout in his 6v6 team and here I am now, playing TF2 daily for 3-4 hours. Thanks brizzle (faggot)

5. To be good at Team Fortress 2 ¬_¬

EG.Cyzer, Evil Genius’ very talented Scout is also from Canada and lives near coL.Reptile

1. Salutations, My name is Paul ‘cyzer’ Sandhu and I play main scout for Evil Geniuses ( I previously played Q3 for about 6-7 years with teams like SIT clockwork affliction CCCP and lolz.  I then moved on to TF2 with lolz (myself, casey, brandon, looloo, amrit, instin and erok) and once that died I joined 20id (myself, ginc, hubris, motard, drakka, alexwut) and once that died I joined idemise/dev (myself, phelon, paladin, punisher, reen, rem, glue… the list goes on) and finally I ended up in Evil Geniuses (myself, amrit, casey, destro, yaug, hero, wop) and that is where I am today… unfortunately. Those EG guys are jerks. I heard destro is a French Canadian seperatist that hates freedom and democracy.

2. The future for TF2 is sort of split. Online-wise the game is doing great.. we have 2 solid and established leagues that are consistently supporting the game at a high level and we also have top tier gaming organizations picking up TF2 teams (EG, coL, pandemic, 20id, and new comer Loaded) so in that regard we’re doing fantastic. However LAN events seem only to be in Europe and the lack of North American lans are disappointing, if there was one problem with this community it’s that. Quake players have Quakecon to look forward to, perhaps we need a Valvecon or a NA Community Lan like you guys have.

As for our clan we have been doing very well lately and we enjoy playing together, that’s something that is very important for a team to suceed. The chemistry is there and the communication is open so I think the sky is the limit as we gel together to form a very solid team. We are also quite possibly the most whimsical team in TF2 doing making lots of beautiful music together… One day I may present to the world ‘momo.mp3 by destro and produced by casey’ …

3. The scout needs to be rid of his sandman weapon. That was a horrible idea, not going to lie. Replace it with a jetpack.. that would be sick.

4. Um too many to choose, I love everyone. Everyone in EG.tf2 is awesome (except casey, destro, amrit, yaug, hero, and wop those guys suck male private parts) and basically everyone I’ve clanned with thus far. Theres also Reptile, dummy, thefragile, dion, phelon, rem, reen, ehFk … this is going to take awhile. If I’ve spent 10 minutes talking to you I probably <3 you. destro is gay though, hate that guy.

5. I wish to have the powers of Superman. IMAGINE IT! You could do pretty much anything in the world, be immortal, move at the speed of light, ANYTHING! I would totally join the NBA and run and jump just a bit better than everyone else and make millions of dollars. Belt 150hrs in MLB (anything more people might suspect something) and I could end all wars by becoming the supreme leader of the world. And crush Rush Limbaugh.

[j] Morf, a wicked swedish multiclasser, also known to be an absolute sexbomb!

1. Im Oskar, 18 years old this year. I live in beautiful Sweden, the weather is totally shit now anyway. I go to secondary upper high school during fall and spring, studying for programmer. Im really new to the fps genre, been playing the Mario series since it was out on Nintendo 64, which is basicly for as long as ive lived. I played Battlefield Modern Combat on PS2 for some while, only on singleplayer mode though, so that doesnt count does it.
I was introduced to TF2 through a friend who bought The Orange Box, i did the same and got stuck with TF2. Been that way ever since. Started playing with the swedish clan Slackerz in mid February 2008, i believe, thats where i got my basic introduction to competetive gameplay in TF2, those guys are really to thank for alot. When Slackerz folded, in April/May i got an offer from hb0da (ulv and the gang), which i played with for roughly 3 months up until summer. I left hb0da during the summer to join Normal Kombat, where i got my pwn skillz! We played on and off but got pretty much fed up of the game in terms of the huge amount of praccing we did during the summer. We folded in late summer 2008. Roughly in August, early september swetur/eX contacted me and made an offer to join jÄgarna, who was gonna do a rebuild of their team with some promising players, i joined them, and theres where i am today! Been with them for a year soon, the rest of the TF2 world should really learn to have fun with your team :)

2. I think TF2s future is bright actually, in opposite to many other. The game is slowly growing bigger and bigger, which takes time. Such a shame that TF2 didnt got as much attention as it should at the UKeSA LAN Finals. I think jÄgarna are gonna do fine once we get back as active as we want, which will probably be in the fall. We got some interesting stuff coming up that should keep us focused. And atleast i am happy with our place in Season 5, we havent been active at all during the summer, been playing when we got players.

3. No not really, i think the demoman is fine. Its hard to change anything with any class and still keep the game as balanced as it is. Im happy with my G for now.

4. Oh man, way to many to choose from, dont wanna name anyone so i wont forget someone. Ive met so many great people through the years. All the guys and the girl (!) in jÄgarna are all great and funny persons and im proud and glad to know them. Going for jLan II this summer, end of July! Cant wait!

5. You (Jonni) in latex? World peace ok, PEACE OUT!

TCM|Evil, terifying UK soldier who played for the former TCM and now plays for the new TCM

1. Hello, my name is Paul, I started out playing online games about 8/9 years ago. I started out playing Team Fortress Classic and stayed with TFC for several years playing Soldier for several top teams. When Dark Age of Camelot came out a lot of players from the TFC community started to play it, and i followed, i played DaoC for a while then moved back to TFC for abit, before moving onto Counter Strike 1.6. I played 1.6 for a long time, I played for a few top UK teams with and attended some 1.6 LANs. When mine and Toms (Light) 1.6 team folded he started to play TF2 and I carried on for a while, however Light told me how good TF2 was competitively so I joined ^wotr^ with him. After a while ^wotr^ got to be quite a good team and they became Team Cooler Master, unfortunately they folded a few months ago and I joined the new TCM team.

2. Im not sure what the future holds for TF2, however there does seem to be more new players coming into the game, however at the same time several top players are leaving and getting bored of the game. Personally I think this is because of the lack of competitive maps, something which will be helped by Valves announcement.  Hopefully there will be another UkeSA which means that there will once again be a competition with a large prize fund and another Community LAN.  I would like to see more LANs and more full teams attending them. I think the current TCM will be okay for the future the team has been together for a while before I joined and although it is summer and obviously people would rather be outside once summer is over I think we will be back active again.

3. I would like to see some things changed with the Soldier class, the main problem I have is the self-damage from your own rockets.  The amount of self damage caused by yourself in battle is usually what decideds the outcome of your battle and although it obviosuly is a skill that you need to learn, not to desmolish yourself, it is fairly difficult when scouts do so much damage close to you and you therefore have to kill him quickly with your rocket launcher.
The other problem I have is the fall off damage from rockets, you should be rewarded for hitting those difficult long range rockets not punished by massive amounts of fall off damage which do no damage, and althoug i believe there should be some fall off to deter spam, i don’t think the fall off should be as much.

4. I suppose the person i know best in the community is Light, however i have known him for a long time since TFC. If we are talking about just TF2 though my favourite person ive come to know is probably Stealthy. Stealthy joined ^wotr^ at about the same time as me and we played together for a long time in ^wotr^ and TCM, hes probably my favourite because we were LAN room-mates and every LAN we attended we shared the same room and had a good fuck.

5. My one wish in the world would be a Pickachu because Pikachu is the only pokemon i need to compelete my pokedex and become the ultimate pokemon master.

[FB]Cook, The Welsh menace, high-end medic and fearless soldier who likes sheep

1. I’m Cai, I live in Wales. I played various TGE based games leading up to 2003(Torque Game Engine, Tribes, so on) but nothing competitive, just for fun, eventually moving to cs 1.6 in about the end of 2003, I was completely crap. When HL2 came out, I played CSS and turned out to be a beast, and played with a good clan called D-Block with tr1ce for a while, before going to “Zombie Horde” mod on CS:S for fun, eventually TF2 came out, and I instantly bought it. I then proceeded to destroy pubs for no less than 1 year, and at the end of this year I started playing and talking to Malignant Malicious MeDiC, or MeDiC a lot, one of the local FB’s of MPUK Dustbowl 02. I was interested about how matches were played in TF2, and since he would always leave to play them, I assumed they happened often and asked if I could merc. After a few games with FB, I tried trialling for them. I wasn’t very good, but accepted nonetheless, and this was back before Season 3. I as playing Soldier. And that’s how I ended up in FB.

2. I see TF2 going smaller temporarily due to NS2, but continuing to grow due the fantastic updates which draw more players in. Not sure how competitive will be effected. As for teams, I’ll be with FB for a while, till the end of the Season, and i’ll see what offers I get then, but I really have no problems staying in FB as backup, since FB are awesome.

3. Team Fortress 2 is good enough as it is. Except for the obvious class changes there’s nothing i’d need added to this game.

4. is a very tough call. I’ve got to know and like many people through TF2, all of FB, and the 2nd teams are all great people, but i’d have to say MeDiC since he’s very funny to play with, has a nice accent, and is a good rival.

5. This one is easy, lots and lots of money. Because money buys other wishes. :)

Thank you to our five players for taking the time to be featured on Fakkeltalk and special thanks to Evil Genious for allowing cyzer to join us. If you have any ideas of what you would like to see on Fakkeltalk, grab either Jonni or Psunfragga through #fakkelbrigade on Quakenet. Your weekly dose of Fakkeltalk will be here on time next week with more community news, gossip and interviews.

For now though, grab a joint, get naked and launch TF2 with a  beer – here’s to a long future of Fakkeltalk!

*free cuddle*

Jun 25 2009

LAN Luvvin’ with Haunter & Predz

Hello and welcome back to our 4th blog episode! This is very exciting so we thought we’d get you this very flamboyantly gay couple who’ve been playing high up in the TF2 food-chain since it all started. We talk about the usual stuff, the upcoming ‘Community Lan’ and Dr.Leon comes in to talk about penises!

Jas: Hey welcome to Fakkeltalk guys, I don’t know if you guys have really met each other before.

Haunter: Me and Predz slept together at LAN

Predz: Yeah. I thought you weren’t gonna tell anyone

Jonni: Who was the woman in this? Who took it up the ass?

Predz: Numlocked.

Haunter: His skin is smooth.

Predz: He looks like he’s constantly wearing a helmet.

Jas: He’s jailbait, don’t be so mean!

Jonni: Have you had experience of high level before TF2 or did you start here?

Predz: I played TFC for many years…too long… played on an Irish team and shit like that.

Jonni: Okay so you arrived at tf2, Holy Grail of gaming. Then what?

Predz: I started at DA and then moved onto WOTR, here I am in 4k

Jonni: How is it being in 4k? The name was quite highly rated before, how are they treating you now?

Predz: I dunno, they’re not treating us in any particular way. Free stuff woo!

Jas: And what about you Haunter?

Haunter: I started in 2000 playing Quake TF starting in Portuguese clans, then moved to ETF which was a different engine. I played in one of the best euro clans until I played TF2. I played since the start, transferred to the euro scene and joined animate, then joined DCSB for a month but they were too inactive, then joined vale (which was druidz, then vale, now known as Yoyotech).

Jonni: How is it playing with Yoyotech, with the Belgians?

Haunter: It’s quite cool, especially with a team full of players from the same country. They all speak English in Yoyotech; no one switches to their own language at all.

Jonni: Cool, found them a bit boring

Jas: I really like them, they’re all awesome. Predz what’s it like playing scout, why pick that class?

Predz: Its infuriating sometimes, every other class was shit slow. I don’t have the patience to spend half a map walking around trying to find everybody.

Jonni: I find Predz one of the most annoying scouts to play against

Predz: I had that said to me a few times, but I dunno, I find the FaN annoying to play against.

Jas: and Haunter, how about you? You were medic for TCM at one point.

Haunter: At the begining I started as soldier as it was my class from previous games. In animate we had no medic so I played medic for them and people kept bugging me to play medic like my short time in TCM. But I really didn’t enjoy it, hence my short period as medic. There’s much more to do as soldier.

Predz: Like spending 30 minutes jumping to people.

Haunter: Instead of running around chasing people? haha.

Jas: If you could change one thing to your class, what would it be?

Predz: Invulnerability and concussion grenades!

Haunter: Probably bunny hopping

Jonni: What do you think about a future soldier update coming soon?

Haunter: I think they will do something silly like they did to heavy like sandwich. Something that won’t affect the competitive gaming. Grenades or something?

Jonni: Now moving swiftly onto the juicy stuff. being a top player, how do you juggle TF2 and real life? Do you have a woman?

Predz: No the internet provides all the stuff that I need, we don’t play on Fridays or Saturdays so I just go out those days.

Jonni: Yeah the internet provides you with all the sex you need.

Jas: Like your two friends who came to ukesa?

Predz: I have more than 2 friends you know! they sat behind my chair at lan, held my hand as I crossed the road.

Jonni: and Haunter? Any private life?

Haunter: Usually most of my friends aren’t gamers, we hardly talk about games.

Predz: Are you going to the community lan Jonni?

Jonni: Yeah we’re going with our team and a merc – Jones.

Predz: I’ll go if you pay for me Jonni, I hear you’re rich.

Jonni: You mean you heard I’m Jewish?

Predz: Yeah haha. Who wasn’t that friendly at lan for you?

Haunter: Darn because when we first met Dignitas in the morning they were leaving and stopped to say hi but darn didn’t, it wasn’t very polite. Other than that, everyone seemed nice.

Predz: Even appz?

Haunter: Yeah I was surprised; he was very friendly to us.

Jas: What about you Predz, who did you think was kinda mean?

Predz: I’m not giving that out haha.

Jas: Probably too many to count for you eh? Hehehe.

Jonni: Let’s talk about something weird, I’m sure you’ve had weird experiences.

Jas: Come on Predz, something different about yourself?

Predz: Jh and I hugged at lan. There you go, that’s an embarrassing story.

Jonni: And Haunter?

Haunter: I fall asleep before I cum, I do it most of the time.

Jonni: Well that’s a good warning to put out to all the ladies out there: bring smelling salts to bed with Haunter.

Predz: I’m starving

Haunter: Me too, haven’t had dinner yet.

Predz: Same

Jas: I knew you’re both a married couple. If you could have one wish, what would it be?

Predz: mm.

Haunter: Hmm. I would wish for Jas in my bed right now.

Jas: You’d fall asleep before you cum, forget it.

Haunter: Who said I’d have sex?

Jas: I see.

Jonni: I forsee a body painting session!

Predz: I was hoping I could wish more wishes…

Jas: You can’t

Predz: Dunno probably for a shit load of money…

Jas: Such an Irish thing.

Predz: No it’s more Jewish.

Jonni: Actually no we have money already.

Predz: Sigh I wish I was Jewish… without penis mutilation.

Jonni: My penis is huge and since the subject is on penisses I would like to invite someone in who is a true expert on the subject.

*Dr Leon enters the channel and the talk continues about penises*

Jonni: Leon can do ballet with no hands and no feet!

Dr Leon: CU @ LAN bitches, I’ll perform right there!

Haunter: Do you really think the lan will happen?

Jonni: I hope so… our team has already payed for TCL

Haunter: I dunno, half the big teams aren’t going

Predz: Really bad to cancel the lan this late.

Jonni: Yeah plane tickets can’t be cancelled, will be a big shame.

Dr Leon: Back to penises, I was promised!

Predz: Psunfragga’s dodging her answers! Her fault.

Jas: Hey I’m a medic, I’m pro at dodging.

*more talk between the guys of penises *

Well that concludes this week’s testosterone filled Fakkel Talk, with much thanks to Yoyotech Haunter and 4K^ Predz for contributing. Predz made us promise to post a picture of him and since haunter wants to keep his identity safe he showed us a picture from his latest threat-video: to the left Haunter and on the right Predz.
Haunter, Terrorist! Predz, Pornstar!

Jun 10 2009

Gossiping with Friendly Extremist Trolls

This weeks instalment is a lengthy double whammy of FB family veterans now known as 4k^Torden and Extrememr.idk? We have a few words from Torden regarding the present state of 4K’s who have just played a tight game vs. TCM for enemy down, scoring 3-2 granary and 10-11 on turbine with the final cap being in the last minute. There is much gossip from the elusively silent Extremer, so read ahead for a better insight into some of the quieter popular players of our TF2 community.

Torden The Friendly Troll

Jas: Hey Torden, thanks for coming to chat with Jonni and I. I have a headache so just bear with me.

Torden: Just drink some water.

Jas: Aww you’re like my real life medic now.

Jonni: Can I call you Mother Goose?

Torden: Please don’t.

Jonni: Moving into things, let’s start with the basics. How did you get into tf2?

Torden: I bought orange box for Half Life and TF2 was in there. It was just an extra to me; I didn’t really have an interest in it. I haven’t played fps before but I liked Half Life.

Jonni: Yeah it’s nice, headcrabs and all!

Torden: I didn’t like the headcrabs.

Jas: Same, they scared me. How did you get into 6v6?

Torden: I was part of a public group; we had 1 clan match a month that took extensive planning. I played a lot of public with FB and eventually asked to merc some games for you. You liked what I was doing so The Worst Player known to man actually rang me from the Netherlands to talk about it.

Jonni: He did? I didn’t know that! Really?

Torden: Yeah he offered me a weed box if I joined. I said no to the weed box but I joined you nonetheless so I got into 6v6 about a year ago.

Jas: So how did you get from playing for FB to being my favourite medic to watch?

Torden: Playing with FB was a really good and fun learning experience for me. However, after a while, I picked up on all the raging going on during that period. I gave an ultimatum: Stop raging or I’m out of FB. As no change was made, I decided to leave them. In the meantime, I had made friends with the people of the Norwegian TF2 community. Their style suited me better, and I joined formation of the Div2 Team (season 3) Resistansen shortly after.

Jas: You’re a delicate soul huh?

Torden: Haha I play TF2 out of the sole purpose for having fun. I know you guys have moved on and the raging has become contained.

Jonni: Yeah since we have the second loudest in the team now, it’s become a bit more neutral.

Torden: Yeah I can see. Since Resistansen, I joined wotr which is now 4K.

Jas: What do you think of the progress of wotr to 4K?

Torden: I joined between seasons. We expected to get relegated or have a hard time as the team were going into div 1. We made key changes to the line up and tried really really hard with etf2l. We had a key breakthrough beating crack clan on turbine which made us think ‘maybe we can actually do some stuff’. Right now I’ve been inactive and people have been a bit demotivated as a consequence of that. We’re at the same spot as we were 5 months ago – underdogs. We’ll see if we can climb up once again.

Jonni: In the lower half of the tables then with FB haha.

Torden: Who knows we might stay down there, it’s all about having fun playing against each other.

Jas: So outside of TF2, what do you do?

Jonni: What kinda awesome jobs do you do? Finishing your work?

Torden: I am uh finishing my bachelors and doing my masters in what can easily be described as art direction.

Jas: You can director my art any day baby, aww yeaah.

Jonni: Outside your job and love for your TF2, do you have a girlfriend?

Torden: uh my last girlfriend, I got a choice of TF2 or her. I guess I chose TF2!

Jas: Good choice, you got to meet me and Jonni.

Torden: I am single, but I’m sorta flirting with a girl, I tend to keep it with one person only.


Jas: A lonely hearts advert for Torden on FB! Lucky girl for you. Tell us an embarrassing story about you.

Torden: You gotta go first though.

Jonni: I can give you access to the porn stash. Psun’s the biggest user.

Torden: Fair enough. At age 13 I had long hair. Going on vacation to Turkey I had more offers from guys than my sisters. In fact, I was the hottest chick in town. You watch out Psunfragga.

Jonni: I’ve heard stories about Tordens voluptuous breasts before.

Jas: I would lick butter cream off Torden’s breasts.

Torden: Depends what kind

Jonni: The butterscotch, so it can stick to your che-sorry I mean breast hair.

Torden: I do have a few bits of hair in my cleavage…I was having a look at your site, is it true cooks house burned down?

Jonni: No, but he did get attacked by black men in thongs though.

Thank you for that nice chat. Torden nicely sticks around to hang around to join in with a chat to Extremer.

Extremer The Extremist

Jas: Rapist.

Jonni: Russian.

Extremer: hiiiiiiiiii!

Jas: Hey, haha this is weird. Extremer and I go way back to public TF2.

Extremer (embarrassed): yeah…. back when I was a noob….

Torden: What, last week? maehehehe.

Jonni: Hahahaha. Easy question to start off with, how did you get TF2?

Extremer: I got Orange Box for xmas, I used to be play TFC back in the day… I got interested in gaming played quake, TFC, CS:s (which I’m ashamed of) and some DoD:S.

Torden: You actually have xmas in Russia?!

Extremer: Hahaha, I’m not actually Russian!

Jonni: So you got TF2, became a pub hero, got to FB?

Extremer: I played pickups. Demourge noticed me, he asked me to merc a few times.

Jonni: And back when you joined us, you had no mic.

Extremer: I just had a few bindings, even when I got a mic I didn’t talk.

Jonni: He only used to talk when he got 3+ kills, or killed a medic. Now I’ve heard rumours of you being the loudest. Quite the fierce rager huh?

Extremer: Naaahhh. I just whine. Oggy’s the rager!

Jas: To be fair with a nice voice like Oggy, I would rage all the time.

Extremer: His rage is kinda funny, you can’t take it seriously.

Jas: What is your clan history? I remember it always changing in my friends list.

Extremer: It was Gaming Legends, FB2, TB and now idk?

Jas: Fakkel Brigade 2?

Extremer: Yeah we were better than FB1 back then!

Jonni: Extremer used have a lot of sex with Cook back then.

Jas: That’s kinda disturbing.

Extermer: Nah cos he’s black, it’s okay.

Jas: Who’s been your favourite clan to play with?

Extremer: FB2 was fucking awesome, with Redman’s sexy voice.

Torden: All people from Ireland sound really similar like Daf, Predz and Redman.

Jonni: Medic (the player) sounds like Officer Wiggum from the Simpsons…

Jas: Tell us about your life outside of TF2.

Extremer: I go to school, go out with friends…

Jonni: Don’t make me remind you of 20 April, I’ve never seen anyone as stoned as you.

Jas: I always thought Extremer was a good boy, went to school…

Jonni: FB fucked him up.

Extremer: No you didn’t.

Jonni: Yes we did.

Extremer (defeated): Okay you did.

Jas: I remember you from meleeing ubers on pubs, how did you go from that to one of the most talented demomen that I’ve seen?

Jonni: I second that.

Extremer: I don’t actually know… I kinda have two lives for pub and for in game, though I do fuck around in both.

Jas: Got any tips for aspiring demomen?

Jonni: Don’t speak too much?

Extremer: … I don’t know really… I just kill stuff…

Jonni: He doesn’t speak much.

Extremer: Tbh killing stuff is a good tip!

Jonni: I wanna know about Extremer and his girly life.

Extremer: I used to have a gf a few months ago, but not anymore. It just wasn’t working out.

Torden: How old are you?

Extremer: 18

Torden: maehaehae. I’m 25

(More talk about how love changes as you get older)

Extremer: Jonni is a chick magnet in TF2

Jonni: In real life I can understand but TF2? How?!

Extremer: He used talk to Nymthae a lot…

Jas: Got any gossip on idk?

Extremer: Shintaz sucks cocks. No lies, it’s true. Night + F2 have a secret love life of sollys.

Torden: Who is your fave person out of idk?

Extremer: Obviously not Shintaz, I don’t know, I won’t say…

Torden: So you do have one! Is it F2?

Jonni: It’s Oggy!

Extremer: Maybeeeee

Torden: Piece?

Extremer: Naw they’re all kinda old and over 30…

Jonni: I’ve just heard your biggest fanboy has joined your idk second team – how do you think he’ll do?

Extremer: I dunno, I’ve never seen him play demoman.

Jas: What is it like having a second team? Do you talk to them a lot, or do you just support them but let them do their own thing?

Extremer: At the moment we don’t talk much to them but I’m sure it’ll change in time as we do training against each other.

Jas: Got anything left to round up the interview?

Extremer: Jonni smells like ass.

As a treat to all his adoring fans, Extremer has drawn a picture of his face as he’s unwilling to provide naked pictures of himself:

Extremer, by Extremer aged 18

Extremer, by Extremer aged 18

Thanks for reading folks, we’ll be back next week with more gossip and insights into the people of our community! xx