Lies, damned lies and Vanilla TF2

Before they were using some craptastic shared server, but now they can use OVER 9000 Mhz of  CPU power. Part of this deal is a ban on negative information related to FB and at least 5 weekly articles mentioning our awesomeness.

Head over to the announcement post to congratulate Torden, Weqo and the rest of the VanillaTF2 crew on the total loss of all their journalistic freedom!

February search strings

Poor Psunfragga surrounded by ‘sexy penis’, ‘kilt penis’, ‘good penis’, ‘nice penis’, ‘naked men penis’ and ‘penis love’.

At least we know who’s making these searches, the brothers who aren’t brothers! This weekend they released a fragvid with subliminal images of Torden’s johnson at 6m06s. If we were aware of the pornographic nature of this ‘fragvid’ we wouldn’t have hosted it.

Everyone wants to see Torden's healbeam

But(t) sex sells, in 36 hours we’ve transfered 300GB worth of Torden’s healbeam.

This weeks instalment is a lengthy double whammy of FB family veterans now known as 4k^Torden and Extrememr.idk? We have a few words from Torden regarding the present state of 4K’s who have just played a tight game vs. TCM for enemy down, scoring 3-2 granary and 10-11 on turbine with the final cap being in the last minute. There is much gossip from the elusively silent Extremer, so read ahead for a better insight into some of the quieter popular players of our TF2 community.

Torden The Friendly Troll

Jas: Hey Torden, thanks for coming to chat with Jonni and I. I have a headache so just bear with me.

Torden: Just drink some water.

Jas: Aww you’re like my real life medic now.

Jonni: Can I call you Mother Goose?

Torden: Please don’t.

Jonni: Moving into things, let’s start with the basics. How did you get into tf2?

Torden: I bought orange box for Half Life and TF2 was in there. It was just an extra to me; I didn’t really have an interest in it. I haven’t played fps before but I liked Half Life.

Jonni: Yeah it’s nice, headcrabs and all!

Torden: I didn’t like the headcrabs.

Jas: Same, they scared me. How did you get into 6v6?

Torden: I was part of a public group; we had 1 clan match a month that took extensive planning. I played a lot of public with FB and eventually asked to merc some games for you. You liked what I was doing so The Worst Player known to man actually rang me from the Netherlands to talk about it.

Jonni: He did? I didn’t know that! Really?

Torden: Yeah he offered me a weed box if I joined. I said no to the weed box but I joined you nonetheless so I got into 6v6 about a year ago.

Jas: So how did you get from playing for FB to being my favourite medic to watch?

Torden: Playing with FB was a really good and fun learning experience for me. However, after a while, I picked up on all the raging going on during that period. I gave an ultimatum: Stop raging or I’m out of FB. As no change was made, I decided to leave them. In the meantime, I had made friends with the people of the Norwegian TF2 community. Their style suited me better, and I joined formation of the Div2 Team (season 3) Resistansen shortly after.

Jas: You’re a delicate soul huh?

Torden: Haha I play TF2 out of the sole purpose for having fun. I know you guys have moved on and the raging has become contained.

Jonni: Yeah since we have the second loudest in the team now, it’s become a bit more neutral.

Torden: Yeah I can see. Since Resistansen, I joined wotr which is now 4K.

Jas: What do you think of the progress of wotr to 4K?

Torden: I joined between seasons. We expected to get relegated or have a hard time as the team were going into div 1. We made key changes to the line up and tried really really hard with etf2l. We had a key breakthrough beating crack clan on turbine which made us think ‘maybe we can actually do some stuff’. Right now I’ve been inactive and people have been a bit demotivated as a consequence of that. We’re at the same spot as we were 5 months ago – underdogs. We’ll see if we can climb up once again.

Jonni: In the lower half of the tables then with FB haha.

Torden: Who knows we might stay down there, it’s all about having fun playing against each other.

Jas: So outside of TF2, what do you do?

Jonni: What kinda awesome jobs do you do? Finishing your work?

Torden: I am uh finishing my bachelors and doing my masters in what can easily be described as art direction.

Jas: You can director my art any day baby, aww yeaah.

Jonni: Outside your job and love for your TF2, do you have a girlfriend?

Torden: uh my last girlfriend, I got a choice of TF2 or her. I guess I chose TF2!

Jas: Good choice, you got to meet me and Jonni.

Torden: I am single, but I’m sorta flirting with a girl, I tend to keep it with one person only.

Jonni: GIRLS OF TF2, GO FOR TORDEN.

Jas: A lonely hearts advert for Torden on FB! Lucky girl for you. Tell us an embarrassing story about you.

Torden: You gotta go first though.

Jonni: I can give you access to the porn stash. Psun’s the biggest user.

Torden: Fair enough. At age 13 I had long hair. Going on vacation to Turkey I had more offers from guys than my sisters. In fact, I was the hottest chick in town. You watch out Psunfragga.

Jonni: I’ve heard stories about Tordens voluptuous breasts before.

Jas: I would lick butter cream off Torden’s breasts.

Torden: Depends what kind

Jonni: The butterscotch, so it can stick to your che-sorry I mean breast hair.

Torden: I do have a few bits of hair in my cleavage…I was having a look at your site, is it true cooks house burned down?

Jonni: No, but he did get attacked by black men in thongs though.

Thank you for that nice chat. Torden nicely sticks around to hang around to join in with a chat to Extremer.

Extremer The Extremist

Jas: Rapist.

Jonni: Russian.

Extremer: hiiiiiiiiii!

Jas: Hey, haha this is weird. Extremer and I go way back to public TF2.

Extremer (embarrassed): yeah…. back when I was a noob….

Torden: What, last week? maehehehe.

Jonni: Hahahaha. Easy question to start off with, how did you get TF2?

Extremer: I got Orange Box for xmas, I used to be play TFC back in the day… I got interested in gaming played quake, TFC, CS:s (which I’m ashamed of) and some DoD:S.

Torden: You actually have xmas in Russia?!

Extremer: Hahaha, I’m not actually Russian!

Jonni: So you got TF2, became a pub hero, got to FB?

Extremer: I played pickups. Demourge noticed me, he asked me to merc a few times.

Jonni: And back when you joined us, you had no mic.

Extremer: I just had a few bindings, even when I got a mic I didn’t talk.

Jonni: He only used to talk when he got 3+ kills, or killed a medic. Now I’ve heard rumours of you being the loudest. Quite the fierce rager huh?

Extremer: Naaahhh. I just whine. Oggy’s the rager!

Jas: To be fair with a nice voice like Oggy, I would rage all the time.

Extremer: His rage is kinda funny, you can’t take it seriously.

Jas: What is your clan history? I remember it always changing in my friends list.

Extremer: It was Gaming Legends, FB2, TB and now idk?

Jas: Fakkel Brigade 2?

Extremer: Yeah we were better than FB1 back then!

Jonni: Extremer used have a lot of sex with Cook back then.

Jas: That’s kinda disturbing.

Extermer: Nah cos he’s black, it’s okay.

Jas: Who’s been your favourite clan to play with?

Extremer: FB2 was fucking awesome, with Redman’s sexy voice.

Torden: All people from Ireland sound really similar like Daf, Predz and Redman.

Jonni: Medic (the player) sounds like Officer Wiggum from the Simpsons…

Jas: Tell us about your life outside of TF2.

Extremer: I go to school, go out with friends…

Jonni: Don’t make me remind you of 20 April, I’ve never seen anyone as stoned as you.

Jas: I always thought Extremer was a good boy, went to school…

Jonni: FB fucked him up.

Extremer: No you didn’t.

Jonni: Yes we did.

Extremer (defeated): Okay you did.

Jas: I remember you from meleeing ubers on pubs, how did you go from that to one of the most talented demomen that I’ve seen?

Jonni: I second that.

Extremer: I don’t actually know… I kinda have two lives for pub and for in game, though I do fuck around in both.

Jas: Got any tips for aspiring demomen?

Jonni: Don’t speak too much?

Extremer: … I don’t know really… I just kill stuff…

Jonni: He doesn’t speak much.

Extremer: Tbh killing stuff is a good tip!

Jonni: I wanna know about Extremer and his girly life.

Extremer: I used to have a gf a few months ago, but not anymore. It just wasn’t working out.

Torden: How old are you?

Extremer: 18

Torden: maehaehae. I’m 25

(More talk about how love changes as you get older)

Extremer: Jonni is a chick magnet in TF2

Jonni: In real life I can understand but TF2? How?!

Extremer: He used talk to Nymthae a lot…

Jas: Got any gossip on idk?

Extremer: Shintaz sucks cocks. No lies, it’s true. Night + F2 have a secret love life of sollys.

Torden: Who is your fave person out of idk?

Extremer: Obviously not Shintaz, I don’t know, I won’t say…

Torden: So you do have one! Is it F2?

Jonni: It’s Oggy!

Extremer: Maybeeeee

Torden: Piece?

Extremer: Naw they’re all kinda old and over 30…

Jonni: I’ve just heard your biggest fanboy has joined your idk second team – how do you think he’ll do?

Extremer: I dunno, I’ve never seen him play demoman.

Jas: What is it like having a second team? Do you talk to them a lot, or do you just support them but let them do their own thing?

Extremer: At the moment we don’t talk much to them but I’m sure it’ll change in time as we do training against each other.

Jas: Got anything left to round up the interview?

Extremer: Jonni smells like ass.

As a treat to all his adoring fans, Extremer has drawn a picture of his face as he’s unwilling to provide naked pictures of himself:

Extremer, by Extremer aged 18

Thanks for reading folks, we’ll be back next week with more gossip and insights into the people of our community! xx

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