Thanks to the excellent posting minds that exist in the TF2 community, discussion has picked up about the idea of creating a Premiership containing the five most stable, most skilled teams remaining in the league (save Afterlife, who are proposed to get in based on their performance plus the acquisition of Hymzi). Someone was kind enough to send a few text files my way (an admin, no less) containing information about what division I/II team leaders/prominent members think about this idea. I am going to make fun of them now.

21 teams were polled, only 4 of whom had objections.
Afterlife, Arm3d, Crack Clan, Dead Cows Strike Back, eMpathy, eSrael, FakkelBrigade, Fruit, Jagarna, MonsterMunch, Pancake, R@ts, Rejects, TeamCoolerMaster, Team Dignitas, Team Nix, and Vale: thank God that intelligent people are on these teams.

Animosity, I Don’t Know?, LOLTeam, Rockit: GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

“I can see the merit in it, but we feel that the current system is the best way to get better.” says Ben of shit-eating German clan Animosity. How do you get better in the current system, especially a team like Animosity (formerly Game-Control) who love to search for games below their skill level and steamroll div4/3 teams to get off because the scat porn no longer suffices? Is it really that helpful to you to be lodged in a division with a set of clearly superior teams and a set of clearly inferior ones? Does that ultimately allow improvement? To roll or be rolled, the only ways to experience skill change. Fucking moron. The only balanced divisions in ETF2L are in 4-6, and to act like you can get better playing in imbalanced, unfair groupings is utterly stupid.

F2, a respected person who I happen to find rather intelligent, said “We had a long discussion about this. Potentially it’s good. But we’re worried about teams folding in the prem division. Also would need to see fine details, like promotion system, before getting behind it.” First, what teams in the proposed premiership will fold? Crack Clan, Team Dignitas, Team Cooler Master, Vale? The top four teams of last season who have stuck together for roughly a year despite lineup changes and metagame alterations? Afterlife, who are all Finnish and everyone knows those fucks will never split up because who else is going to want skinny alcoholic emos on their team? The threat of a fold in a division of long-term rivals with a very close skill distribution is minimal and the only thing threatening the potential premiership is TF2 itself dying, which could very well happen in Europe’s upper-levels if nobody bothers to balance it out.

LOLTeam’s SupremeBeing at least fleshed out his ideas but he’s Russian so I honestly don’t give a shit. “Don’t think the idea is good. The best way for development is playing against stronger teams, and that is the opportunity low skill div 1 teams have. The prem division will feel unreachable. In terms of interesting games to watch, having a small prem is nice, but in terms of scene development it’s not. Also, how would the promotion system work? Can’t see a good/fun option for it.” His premise is wrong, for one – the best way to develop is by playing teams who are one step above you, as they force you to notice your flaws and then adjust to them. Playing a team five steps above you makes you think everything is a flaw. You can not “adapt” to a complete domination. There is not some way to fix your tactics, tweak your spam, fix your positioning that will result in a turn-around of 5-6 rounds against Dignitas. Since this comment just rolls right into the fourth objection…

Recon of Rockit says “Interesting, but at the end of the day, we want to play against the top teams. It could be boring for us if we’re not in prem, so we like the current system.” Go fuck yourself Recon. Why do YOU want to play against top teams? Do you like eating shit? You can do that without wasting Dignitas’s time. How would it be boring for YOU, a team who’re top div2 and not at all close to what an actual div1 standard would be, to go up against teams of your actual skill level? Teams who give you close games, force you to evaluate yourselves, make you BETTER. Those guys, you fucking idiot. Do you think that eating six loads from six wet, sweaty, Swedish/Finnish waif boys in an 8-1 badlands is going to make you enjoy this season? Have fun with that. r@ts and DCSB are better than you and you don’t see either of them bitching and wanting their chance to get gangraped. I’m staring at game info right now and eSrael are outfragging you. Go fuck your dumb selves.

The “opportunity” a low-skilled Div I team has, say coolclan, is to watch several teams collapse in such a way that make the games winnable (Imperial, 4Kings/wotr/Born2Die/Predz’sgiantforehead), and following it up by getting a fierce dicking from the elite teams. There are four teams on top, there are four on the bottom, and what do the two in the middle do? What will IDK and aL gain from this division? They’ll completely fuck the shitters, IDK will probably fall well behind aL thanks to the loss of Shintaz, aL might be able to hang with the top. Wouldn’t it be better for those tweener teams to actually fight in a division full of people who can hang with them? Won’t IDK be having a better go of it against rockit, FB, LOL, eSr, r@ts, DCSB, arm3d, Rejects, MM as opposed to watching 8 maps against Vale, CC, Dig, and TCM be wasted?

Special thanks to
Darn, for actually understanding that this set-up would mean better games for all.
Jones, for noting how poor the division placements are and how unbalanced the games could get.
Sentor, for understanding that you can get games against THE TOP FOUR in PCWs and not have to waste officials time, not having to rob yourselves of placement, prestige, whatever else is associated with TF2’s competitive scene.
Vlad Drac, for being autistic just like his scout partner but entertaining all the while.
Dunc, for the misogyny.